It's been awhile.............

Yeah I know. I promised to update my blog every week but I happen to break that promise. Well I guess that's what promises are for. haha. Just kidding and I'm sorry for not being around. It has been a tough months for me and it's just hard for me to update every now and then with a lot of things going on.

Fighting for future is really tough especially when you don't know where to start. I know where I'm going just that it's hard to start over again. Well I haven't started anything yet. 

Waking up everyday is like an everyday battle that I have to fight for it. There were times that my future is in someone else hands and there were times that I just wanna stop and give up. Then I will realize that the world will not stop just because I feel so hopeless it will continue to revolve around the sun and days will become weeks, weeks will become months, and months will become years and I will still be on this same shit. Giving up is never a good idea and how can I do that when I have a wonderful family backing me up every step of the way. I am very grateful to have such wonderful parents and siblings every night that I cry myself to sleep they have been my strength. I love them so much to infinity and beyond. 

Future is something so hard to deal with especially when you put it on hold for a long time but future is future it's either you make things happen or you let things happen. As for myself I am making it happen. 

An Open Letter To My Future Boyfriend

dear future boyfriend,

i know you’ve already come across different ladies, but just like me you’re still searching.. it wouldn’t be too hard to please me..cause just so you know i am not looking for Mr. Perfect but Mr. right.. I’m sure you are a good man and you value your family especially your mother.. you might not be that religious but I know you pray to God everyday..i like how you carry yourself, the confidence that you have that only shows that you can really handle me..it is ok with me if you don’t have the peter parker image cause i know that by the end of the day your my chuck bass..i love everything about you..you being nice and you being stubborn..i love how you are so unpredictable..that it draws me closer to you..i know you are always there to support me in everything that i do especially when it comes to my career and future but thank you also for the reality bites cause as you know when i dream..i dream as if everything is possible..I know you are also a man with great dreams and hopefully we can share our dreams with each other and we can make it happen together..i like how we plan our future together cause this only shows that this relationship is for keeps..I lhope you can always makes me laugh..laugh as if there is no tomorrow especially when i’m down..and of course i love a man with sense of humor..no dull moments..

I love to go around places..I love to see the world and what it holds for me..so I hope you as well love to travel..so that we can build memories together as we go through life..don’t worry i am understanding..i will give you your boys night out every week..just make sure you do good..you can still hang out with your friends and have good times with them..just don’t forget you also have me..i love to watch basketball games so if your a basketball player big time or small time..i will make an effort to watch your every game..but if not that’s ok..i’ll support you with whatever sports you play..i will still watch your game..and i’ll be your number one cheerleader.. I hope we can have a sport together or go to the gym cause as you know I need to be active to lose weight and more than anybody else I need your support..don’t worry every after work i’ll call you so that we can talk about our day and if ever you had a bad day just call me i’ll go over to your place..cook you dinner and we can talk about what happened..you will not receive an SMS or call from me every minute or every hour but sure thing before and after you go to bed you will receive a sweet messages from me..

one more thing: I hope you value the “friend” part of being my boyfriend..cause i believe best relationship starts from friendship..I want to be silly with you and technically just hang out..I want to share our life with each other not you and me being just each other’s life..i want our family, friends and of course GOD to be part of our relationship..and hopefully you also want to extend our relationship to other aspect of life..

this relationship will only work if we have not only love but also faith and acceptance.. acceptance of all the good and bad about each other..Despite all the criteria that i gave you..i just want you to stay the same..stay as who you are..cause you, just you is already amazing..and i don’t want to change a single thing about you..relax..chill..i already love you..

I hope we find each other anytime soon.. and I know that when that time comes.. you can prove to me that you’re worth the wait..

your future girlfriend,

ceca